20 Times People Met The Dumbest Person Ever.
Nathan Johnson
Published
04/21/2021
in
facepalm
They aren't that bright.
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1.
I know a woman who bragged on Facebook that she scored 84 on her IQ test.... She thought it was out of 100. -
2.
My former boss was worried that the island of Manhattan would sink with all the extra visitors for New Years and the ball dropping. She thought islands float and when she found out that wasn’t true she thought it was so funny that she told everyone the story. She was later fired for withholding a pay raise from someone on her team because he didn’t accept her sexual advances. He had the texts to prove it. -
3.
A friend’s partner said she was vegan. Another friend jokingly said ‘you’re not vegan, you eat corn on the cob, which is actually the spine of a cow’. Aforementioned friend’s partner started crying about how much she loved eating cow spine and was really upset, genuine tears of sorrow at how she wasn’t a vegan at all. From that day forth, corn was known as Cow spine on the cob and their relationship didn’t last for too long, probably a week after she asked why Mel Gibson didn’t just phone the English King to negotiate in Braveheart..... -
4.
My ex-gf thought rhinoceroses were dinosaurs. Then, we were watching King Kong and toward the end of the movie she asked if it was based on a true story. -
5.
Met a dude sophomore year of college. I told him the story of the dumbest person I had ever met up to that point and his response was “well.. that’s understandable though... up until last year I didn’t know the U.S. and the United States were the same thing” We went to college in the U.S. and again this was our sophomore year. Dude was an 19 year-old full blooded American. -
6.
Ex-girlfriend. I once said out loud "I wonder how dolphins have sex?" She said, with conviction "There aren't boy dolphins and girl dolphins. They're just dolphins." You know, like magical. And she argues with me for about 2 hours. -
7.
In college a girl told me she had SIDS when she was a baby. -
8.
A customer who thought he should be able to get the Jordan Bred 11s for 90% off because of 2 "coupons" he had. One of these coupons was a print out of a 70% off clearance promotion from Nike's website and the other was a 20% off coupon from Payless that expired in 2017. I've never been more confused, frustrated, and exasperated than I was during the 10 minute interaction where myself, two managers and a customer tried to explain to this man why this wasn't going to happen. -
9.
I remember when I was little my brother continued to have many strange misconceptions, but I can’t remember any except the one where he said “Martin Luther King Jr. was one president of the U.S. Otherwise, how could he have stood on a podium?” -
10.
Had a friend in HS that could predict rain by looking at the stars....if the big dipper was upside down "the water would pour out and it would rain tomorrow" She was 17 -
11.
For months, I've been dealing with a client who doesn't get their bills. Every month, they call and ask where it is, we confirm their address and the expected arrival date, I manually generate a new invoice, and e-mail it over. Today, when confirming the address for like the 6th time, they said "oh, no, that's not my town or zip" and submitted an address change. How the hell do you not know where you live? -
12.
A girl I used to work with in a call center. She used to ask me stuff like “why do trees grow upwards?” or “the sun goes round the earth doesn’t it?” Then one day she asked me “does the earth spin and clouds stay still, or does the earth stay still and the clouds move?” I miss you Ria! -
13.
Let me tell you about this woman that my uncle dated for a while. She was really a special kind of dumb. I'm just gonna go ahead and list the top 3 that I can remember, but I'm sure there's more. These were all relayed to me years later as I wasn't around at the time. It's a running joke between some family members. •Thought pork chops came from horses. •Met a guy who had lost a portion of his ear in some kind of accident. Upon meeting she just asked him with no class at all: "Hey, what happened to your ear?" His response: "I turned my head too fast and bit my earlobe off." She was totally cool with that answer. •Went grocery shopping and assumed that whatever number of chicken legs came in a pack was how many legs that chicken must have had. There was also something to do with a moose, but I can't remember the specifics on that. -
14.
Had a guy tell me that he could write with his left and right hand equally well. He said that he was “amphibious”. -
15.
Worked at a bank for a (blessedly) short time. Had a 60 year old woman that asked, “What do you mean my account balance is negative?? I still have checks, so I still have money!” -
16.
A girl in my class in high school asked the teacher where the sky was. Like she genuinely had no idea and when we tried to explain to her that the sky was above us outside she was like “no that’s the ceiling”. -
17.
When I was in middle-school (like age 12-14ish), we went to the local college. I stopped by the college bookstore and bought a pack of gum. The gum was like $0.96 after tax. The clerk, a college-age girl, entered the gum in the cash register, and I gave her a dollar for the gum. She proceeded to count out $0.96 in change to me. I was so embarrassed for the girl, I didn't dare say anything, so I took the money. But then I felt bad and thought she might get in trouble, so I went back and asked her if maybe the gum cost $0.96 and she only owed me $0.04 in change. I mean, hard to judge a person for one interaction. Maybe she was thinking hard about quantum mechanics and just couldn't devote enough mental energy to the Gum-Dollar Exchange Deficit Function. But it definitely lowered my opinion of college students at the time. -
18.
True story. Kid in my neighborhood. Someone must have told him that if he shone a flashlight in one ear, light would come out the other ear. He didn't know i was looking. He held a flashlight to one ear and his open palm at the other. He turned on the light and tried to turn his head real fast to see his palm. He did this several times. Never caught the light. I was in awe at his stupidity. -
19.
We were in history class, taking a pop quiz. one of the questions was "where is pearl harbor?" someone raised their hand and asked "who is pearl harbor? and why would I know where he is?" it's me. I had trouble focusing in school and thought pearl harbor was a person -
20.
I was put in charge of training a girl at a coffee shop I worked at. She didn't know how to make coffee, I literally had to tell her "ok, now pour the coffee in until it reaches this line, no, pour it slower don't dump the whole pot over the cup." When trying to train her on register I don't know if she couldn't or just refused to count. A total would be $5.98 and she'd tell the person it was $6, when people gave her anything but bills she'd stare at the change and ask me how much that was or she'd say "that's $2 right?" And there'd be like 50¢ on the counter in dimes and pennies. I tried training her on sandwich station, she would pack the food frozen into the bags and just hand it out. On her breaks I'd have to constantly remind her that 15 minutes means 15 minutes, not 20, not 30, not an hour. We were allowed to have food at work for free within reason and only in the back. She would reach into the pastry case with her bare hand, pick up an item and just eat it at register or right next to the case. There was a lot more she'd do wrong and it got to the point where I thought she was trying to purposefully get fired
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